Porn addiction and the lack of emotional intimacy.

In my work, wives frequently report a lack of emotional intimacy in their marriages.

This comes as no surprise, especially if the husband is heavily into pornography and has been for 10 to 20 years. Commonly, men who use porn habitually, do so in part as a means of self-soothing, reducing stress, or tension. Often, a part of the story of the origins of their sexual behavior, masturbation often develops early on as a means of coping with emotional tension. At this earlier stage, this behavior is essentially an adaptive technique. The problems usually arise in adult life, when, after years of this type of conditioning and emotional self-soothing the porn user has difficulty switching gears and turning to others for emotional support. The spouse will notice the disconnect and voice concern. Unfortunately, the well-conditioned, self-soothing porn user may response to this emotional pressure with more porn and self-soothing; the default response.

The good news for the porn user is that at this point in life, a shift or change may be possible. Instead of turning inward, or to porn they might be able to give emotional openness another chance. They may find soothing and pleasurable emotional connection (intimacy) with their spouse.

My website: www.resolutioncounseling.org