Your partner may have lost faith in your commitment, or your ability to kick the sex, or porn habit. It's likely that they're anxious and are waiting for a replay of what has become the usual pattern of promises made and promises broken.
One way to reassure them is for you to be able to tell them what you're doing today and this week to keep the commitment you've made. This is where you list the details of your recovery plan: abstinence, healthy coping strategies, journaling, 12-step meetings, talking to them about how your doing, therapy, reading, etc.
You may not be able to promise that you'll never relapse into old behaviors, but you can assure them that you're taking steps today and tomorrow to restore trust.
Visit my website, or contact me for a free consultation: http://www.resolutioncounseling.org/
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Thank you for this post. I appreciate the highlighting of the partner's role in sexual addiction recovery. I think it's overlooked outside the psychological/therapeutic arena that sex addicts CAN have happy, healthy, emotionally-connected sex lives. It just takes commitment and guidance.
ReplyDeleteThis puts me in mind of a book I was recently introduced to called Erotic Intelligence by Alexandra Katehakis. It highlights what steps must be taken to integrate sex after a person becomes “sober” from compulsive sexual behaviors. It's truly a groundbreaking read on the subject and provides insight for the sex addict and their partner through the presentation of real couples and their peaks and valleys in dealing with sex addiction. I highly recommend it to the sex addict, their partner and anyone with sexual issues that block true emotional intimacy.
Thanks again for this post and good luck to you in your endeavors.