But seriously, how long can you go, without any sexual activity that is?
If you're really interested is finding out more about "the why" when it comes to your compulsive sexual behavior, just take some time off. If you can't last a week, or even a day, what does that tell you about your dependency on sex?
And during your brief period of abstinence, when are you the most fixated on breaking your sexual fast?
I know, I know, you like sex; you're a sexual person, and so on.
But are you having sex, or is sex having you?!
Visit my website, or contact me for a free consultation: www.resolutioncounseling.org
Monday, May 17, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Why kick the habit?
Maybe you've considered that your use of porn, or the way you wander sexually might not be working for you as much as it's working against you.
So, what would life look like if you were to make more constructive choices in these areas? It may be hard to imagine; especially if you've been living this way for years; since you were a teenager.
A way to get more clarity about what this change might look like would be to answer these questions about your specific behavior:
1) How do I benefit from continuing to (your behavior here)?
2) What would I lose, or do I risk losing if I continue to (your behavior here)?
3) What benefits might come if I were to give up this behavior?
4) What would I lose if I were to give this up?
Visit my website, or contact me for a free consultation: www.resolutioncounseling.org
So, what would life look like if you were to make more constructive choices in these areas? It may be hard to imagine; especially if you've been living this way for years; since you were a teenager.
A way to get more clarity about what this change might look like would be to answer these questions about your specific behavior:
1) How do I benefit from continuing to (your behavior here)?
2) What would I lose, or do I risk losing if I continue to (your behavior here)?
3) What benefits might come if I were to give up this behavior?
4) What would I lose if I were to give this up?
Visit my website, or contact me for a free consultation: www.resolutioncounseling.org
Monday, May 10, 2010
Why Use Porn?
This question inevitably comes up, and for good reason. It's hard to make sense of why one would continue to engage in a behavior, despite the knowledge that it could negatively impact their life.
I believe that part of the explanation lies in the answer to another question: What are the benefits of using porn?
One common response is that it's soothing, or relieves stress.
Of course, part of any recovery plan would involve looking for healthier ways to accomplish these necessary functions.
Another part of "the why" has to do with personal history and the childhood development of the need to self-soothe.
I believe that part of the explanation lies in the answer to another question: What are the benefits of using porn?
One common response is that it's soothing, or relieves stress.
Of course, part of any recovery plan would involve looking for healthier ways to accomplish these necessary functions.
Another part of "the why" has to do with personal history and the childhood development of the need to self-soothe.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Pornography Addiction: It's a Private World
After years of abusing porn, it begins to become a part of a private world; a world populated by interchangeable fantasies. These fantasies, these day-dreams are perfect, in that they appear when we want them to, demand absolutely nothing from us, and leave when we're done. And they'll come back for more over and over and over for more of the same, if we like.
Over time, we begin to look forward to time in this private world, where we're in control, while turning our backs on the real and complicated world of our families and our partner.
Over time, we begin to look forward to time in this private world, where we're in control, while turning our backs on the real and complicated world of our families and our partner.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
To 12-Step, or Not?
It's common knowledge in the recovery community that regular attendance of 12-Step meetings can strengthen most recovery plans.
For someone just starting out, the idea of going to a 12-Step meeting for the first time is understandably a scary prospect.
Working the 12-Steps isn't for everyone and I do believe you can build a successful recovery plan w/o attending meetings.
Whether your path to recovery involves these meetings or not, I think it's important to know a few things about these programs:
1) Every person attending these meetings had to attend their first meeting, too.
2) The 12-Step model is less religious and more spiritual than you might think.
3) You can get as involved in these meetings, or the Steps as you'd like: each person has their own path to recovery.
4) Yes, what is said in these meetings, stays in these meetings.
5) The support and fellowship available allows you to connect as much as you'd like with others engaged in the struggle of recovery. You're Not Alone.
6) At these meetings you'll meet people from all walks of life, who, as a group, have had a whole range of experiences in their sexual history.
For someone just starting out, the idea of going to a 12-Step meeting for the first time is understandably a scary prospect.
Working the 12-Steps isn't for everyone and I do believe you can build a successful recovery plan w/o attending meetings.
Whether your path to recovery involves these meetings or not, I think it's important to know a few things about these programs:
1) Every person attending these meetings had to attend their first meeting, too.
2) The 12-Step model is less religious and more spiritual than you might think.
3) You can get as involved in these meetings, or the Steps as you'd like: each person has their own path to recovery.
4) Yes, what is said in these meetings, stays in these meetings.
5) The support and fellowship available allows you to connect as much as you'd like with others engaged in the struggle of recovery. You're Not Alone.
6) At these meetings you'll meet people from all walks of life, who, as a group, have had a whole range of experiences in their sexual history.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Infidelity?
When we lie to our partner about porn use, it's the lie that makes them feel like we've been unfaithful. Every time we promise to lay off the porn and they catch us in another lie, it's all that much harder to regain their trust. This is a self-reinforcing cycle that will sooner or later crush any relationship.
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